He probably read RFCs as bedtime stories for them.... :)
"Once upon a time there was Alice. Alice sent an INVITE to Bob..."
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.
He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Whi We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.
And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2! .) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller b lades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox [bleach] makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14..) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
/*/"A Test for Dementia"/*/**/ /***/
/*//"It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test."//
//Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we
grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you
don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your
loss or non-loss of intelligence. ///
/
//Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or
not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've
made your answer. ///
//OK, relax clear your mind and begin.///
/1. What do you put in a toaster?
/ /
// Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do
something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to
Question 2.
/ /
//2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
//
//
//
/ /
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't// //attempt the
next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat.
Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as
Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.
/ /
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made
from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a
black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
/ /
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.// //If you said "green
bricks," why are you still reading these???// //If you said "glass,"
go on to Question 4.
/ /
4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically
divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the
flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last
remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing
procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and
the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land"
between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the
survivors? // //East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land?
/ /
Answer: You don't bury survivors.// //If you said ANYTHING else,
you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury
survivors", proceed to the next question.
/ /
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London
to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus; In
Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon,
2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16
people get on. In Swansea, 3// //people get off and 5 people get on.
In Carmarthen 6 people get off and 3 get on. You then arrive at
Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
/ /
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! //
//Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
//
//_
_//Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better
than you.//
//
PS:// //95% of people fail most of the questions /